The lament 

And this was not fake faith, this was deep , authentic , worthy-everything faith that comes at a cost . Even more though I didn't know what to call it at the time , a lament was given me a language for relating to God my Creator , this lament was saving my Faith , because a. Lament was the only thing that enabled me to keep the line open to God in my moment of greatest need 

Most night I slept on my bible , literally and sounds of worship music comming from my phone ,desperate to hear from God trying to absorb his word , to be comforted , as I wondered what was happening? Was I doing this was God doing this to me? Caused from circumstances?! Either way I knew it had to rise up and out to face it head on . The pain the hurt the whys, the faking fine.

Somehow in the dark nights of restling with myself , I prayed God why is this happening why do I feel like this why ? Wher are you I can't hear you , are you their did I forget me?  

Prayers I never thought I should be saying left my thoughts , at the time felt like dangerous prayers but I felt like my fair was failing my thoughts was my heart was hurting my will to continue was failing , and yet in the mist of this ugliness and heartache a lament was surfacing .

Wat we must remember our healing isn't just for us , but for the one who made us , God glories in our wholeness , for both you and me this is the true reason we exist , to bring glory to he one who made us ,

Friends even in the hard raw seasons lets. It miss our opportunity , Let the lament in and live It's in the mud in the raw our true self arises and only then can we be made whole and used to fullly glorify Him our God. 

Lament is the language is given to us by God to meet him in weeping , and God is their every time to hear our lament prayers .

Gods grace meets us where we are , not where we pretend to be.

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